As someone who genuinely wants to be the best (or at least one of the best) math teachers, but at the same time is quite shy, being a leader can be a troublesome thing. I have always ran away from these types of things in the past. "Why don't you lead the ________ team?" "You can be a leader on this whole campus!" "When you talk, everyone turns around and listens to you". I have always turned these types of things down for:
A) Fear of failure
B) High level of responsibility
With teaching, it does not seem like I can escape this anymore. It's like the adage "you can't run from who you are". My classmates have taken somewhat of a liking to my blog, and even some co workers read it. We also have new staff now, and I am starting to think that they are genuinely looking towards me for suggestions, advice, and to watch what I do. In fact, one is coming to observe me for the next few weeks and two have already done so last month. I think I've made it clear that I don't like being the center of attention. But if you are always doing great things, or thinking outside of the box, you are always going to draw attention.
Classmates and staff expectations of me are now very high and I'm quite nervous about it. As it's only my 2nd year, I am still learning as well. I prefer to just be a valuable resource for them.
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